Month: August 2015

Inside Out

Ever been a part of a group or amongst friends/family/coworkers and even though you are very much a part of the circle, you still somewhat feel alone? No not you? Maybe I’m just in my feelings (happens more than it should lol) or maybe I’m not.  You see I can be in the midst of a group and even though I’m laughing and engaging in conversation, I still sometimes feel like I don’t fit and can easily get caught up in my own world and thoughts while drowning my surroundings out. This can be viewed as a gift and a curse in my opinion. How so? Glad you asked…

Let’s start with the curse. One obvious reason is that you could miss something in the conversation Ha! But no seriously in specific settings where you need to be paying attention, you could really miss some vital information or risk being embarrassed if called upon say in a classroom or business meeting. Another reason is that you can seem stand offish or perceived as if you do not want to be there at all. This can lead to unnecessary tension or send mixed vibes when that was not your intention. I’ve had this happen on several occasions (I know stamp me EMBARRASSED). No I’m not proud of it and yes I will even admit that it has even caused negative effects in my world, but I’m working on it. I guess for me it’s just like if I know that “this” isn’t for me anymore, but at the time have no control over moving on to something new, I can easily blank out and get caught up in another world (i.e. my agenda, my time, what else I could be doing, you get the point lol). Again not good, I’ll admit I’m flawed, but I’m working on it!!!

The gift…on the flip side of this characteristic or feeling being seen as negative I find some good in it as well.  Come on there is a positive side to everything, right? In some seasons of life I feel like God sets us apart or makes us feel indifferent because He is preparing us for our next level in life. I’m not saying that I’m better than anyone, because I’m not, but understand that sometimes I’m meant to be set apart. God has to pull me away from what is “normal” or what I am “used to” to get my undivided attention in order to continue to move closer towards my divine purpose and assignment. That is when we learn our most valuable lessons from Him, when we are alone and undistracted. So does this mean that I need to isolate myself, at times yes, but I also feel like that there can be a medium amongst the two?  It’s all about balance and learning how to turn my mind off so to speak to be keen with my surroundings. It’s also about having a sensitive ear to the Holy Spirit and knowing when to steal away to that quiet place to listen and be taught.

So I guess I was right and I was not in my feelings (all the way). I just needed to analyze the ins and outs of the situation to get a better understanding…

“So, come out from among [unbelievers], and separate (sever) yourselves from them, says the Lord, and touch not [any] unclean thing; then I will receive you kindly and treat you with favor, and I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:17-18 AMP

sig KT