Month: September 2015

Last Night I Cried…

criedI haven’t in a while (outside of worship) but last night I did….I cried. September has been a month to say the least! Last night it finally took a toll on me; in that moment I couldn’t do anything else but shed a tear. From helping plan a conference at church, to seeking the Lord and writing a message to be one of the speakers at that conference, to writing my first research paper in graduate school, planning a bridal shower for a friend, attempting to still maintain my motherly and wifely duties all while still learning the ropes on the new job….I’d had enough. In that moment I felt like a failure. Yeah I was succeeding in some areas, but felt as though I was slacking big time in others. I was exhausted, I looked the way I felt to say the least and that’s definitely not a good thing. My family hadn’t been given a proper home cooked meal in over a week, my baby girl was upset because mommy didn’t feel like playing and my husband was frustrated from trying to plan a date night for over a month and always hearing “I don’t have time right now”.

I needed a break. I found a quiet, dark corner to simply relax, relate and release. I had to realize that I’m not superwoman and needed to just stop for a moment and seek guidance from my Father. At that weak moment I needed His strength more than anything else. In that moment I was reminded that I had prayed for all these things, I desired more in life and that is exactly what was given. “To whom much is given much is required” right? I just didn’t think He would bring them all to pass so quickly and so close together lol. One scripture then came to mind:

but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9

Today I just want to leave you with that little bit of encouragement. When you’re having a moment, go ahead and have that moment, regroup and remember that your Heavenly Father is there is wipe away your tears and most importantly know that through your weakness He is strengthened even the more. Keep pressing forward sis, prioritize all your tasks, focus on what’s most important and remember to rely on the strength of the Father, you don’t have to earn the ‘S’ on your chest when Christ holds all the power you need in His hands.

Peace & Blessings,

sig KT

Year One…

Hi luvs!!! Happy Tuesday…I hope you all are having a great week! Since my last post, I’ve managed to get through two important dates September 18th and 20th. September 18th marks one year anniversary of me selling my house. It’s a big deal because it was something I had to do in order to transition to support my then fiancé. September 20th marks what would have been my one year anniversary.

Let’s get started on this lovely weekend journey. I planned a few weeks back to go visit one of my besties (“since 7th grade” as she would add to my name when introducing me 🙂 ) and her family at their new home in Colorado. Originally not thinking twice about the dates other than planning to do something for her oldest birthday that weekend, I realized what weekend it was; I was a little nervous. See like a best friend, at some point in time they stop being a best friend and are part of your family…sisters. We laugh, cry, share, are embarrassed and get in trouble together, and the list can go on for days. So she just so happens to be married to my fiancé uncle (only three years apart) as told in How it all started…Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014. So this was going to be an extremely “keeping it together” type of weekend. They’re not only family, but the ones who introduced us and who help facilitate an AWESOME surprise 30th birthday/engagement party. So needless to say they’re pretty close to him as well.

Going into the weekend, I didn’t know how it would go, if I’d be emotional or what. This is my second time seeing them since the funeral in December. I put my big girl pants on and went on about the weekend. Had a great lunch date with one of my goddaughters and enjoyed playing the rest of the afternoon with them both. Saturday morning enjoyed two pee wee/kids soccer games, which were pretty funny. Had an amazing time at Church In The City Christian hip hop concert featuring artists from On Faith Ent and Pettidee to name a few. Sunday was a different story…started off emotion free even with a few Happy Anniversary texts, but quickly changed. The support group that I have is so awesome and sincere I wouldn’t change them for the world. The heartfelt words that my girls shared on Sunday pushed me right on over. Memories and emotions took over, but just knowing that I’m covered, protected and comforted is good. Nonetheless, HE has kept me for the past nine months and I’ll continue to press on.

Thank you for your listening ears!!!

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#FMF:SELF-LOVE

Thank God Its Friday ladies! And I’m alive and well on this place called earth. So today’s Fill Me Friday (#FMF, #FillMeFriday) is…

#FMF:SELF-LOVE

Self-love: regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic). ~unknown web source

So why do I want to be filled with “self-love,” well as I’ve stated before I work on a University campus and last week a student decided to take their life. Now I didn’t personally know the student nor do I know the nature of their circumstances that led to this, but its just truly sad. We can all sit and ponder just what could be so-bad that one would take their own life, when the reality is we will never really know. Its not meant for us to know. We can only pray for their family and friends that God gives them peace and comfort. So in this midst of this tragedy, we find there are those who feel the need to acknowledge the importance in building people up. Now I have no way of knowing if their purpose was truly for others or for themself but the messages left behind touch me as “self.” As I walked into a building on campus I came across a post-it note that read: “You are perfect!!” and as I passed by the vending machines in the same building another that read: “You are loved!!” Upon seeing these I immediately began to smile, I had a rush of warmth come up in my heart. There really are still some good people left on this earth, I thought to myself. I mean it’s like every time you turn on the tv or radio or pick up a newspaper it’s just mindless acts of violence and chaos happening all around us.

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And on a more personal note, these post-its reminded me of how much I’ve grown forward but yet continue to fall back on my own issues with self-esteem/self-love. I needed this reminder that well hey, I’m perfect and I’m loved no matter what! Why? Because God made me perfect and because He first loved me! It’s as simple as that! While in these moments of self-doubt, when I think I’m not good enough or pretty enough or even deserving enough, God says but “YOU ARE!”

You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. ~Matthew 5:48 (ESV)

We love, because He first loved us. ~ 1 John 4:19 (AMP)

So I hope this has meant something to somebody. And that you always remember to love yourself because God created you for a purpose and He loves you beyond measure. Have a wonderful weekend ladies!

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Coasting Through Life…

Hey Girlfriends and Happy First Day of Fall!!!!

Don’t you just love this time of the year?!? The air is crisp, the beauty of the leaves changing colors, oh and let’s not forget the fly fall fashions!!!!!! (Time to get my and Sweet Pea’s fall gear together 🙂 ) I can’t decide if Fall or Spring is my favorite season, they might just be tied!! 🙂

Anyway, this month has been SUPER busy for me and this week has been no different. I have my first major assignment due for class this week and chile I am struggling! I have not written a research paper in 10 years (what is APA style and why do I have to use it???), so please keep me in prayer! On top of that I’m hosting a bridal shower for a good friend on Saturday so I’m definitely a busy bee this week. So with that being said, I’m going to have to hit you with another archived post. I know, I know….October will be a better blog month for me!!

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So since my life has been hectic this past month and at times I feel like I’m just “coasting”, I thought I’d share a post from March, Emotional Roller Coaster, with you all today.

Enjoy another blast from the past and I’ll get back with you all next week!

 

Be Breezy (get it because of the fall season!! 😉 LOLOL)

sig KT

Year One…

Hey luvs!!!! It’s been a minute but I’M BACK 🙂 I had to take some time to experience this thing called life. But nevertheless, lets press on. Often times I use blogging as an outlet, and today is no different. Maybe next year I will be a little different in my posts, but right now, it’s my therapy. In my Year One series, I often share experiences about life as a widow and this entry is no different. These last few months have been very busy in memories, special dates, moments, milestones, etc. I’ve sold my husband’s house, visited his grave site for the first time since his burial, moved his furnishings/belongings, and experienced his first birthday alone. Talk about an emotional roller coaster, and it‘s just beginning. I’m coming up on what would be our first marital anniversary, conclusion to Year One (anniversary of his death and proposal), anniversary to burial (which happens to be my birthday), not to mention the holidays. Pray my strength. If you’ve experienced the loss of a spouse and have encouraging words please share (even in general). Let me know what helped you make it through.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

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A Mother’s Frustration

Me&SweetPeaDo you ever get tired of people pointing out your child’s flaws, whether directly or indirectly? Well today that’s how I’m feeling. My Sweet Pea is flourishing in so many different ways. She has already learned so much from the 2 weeks she has attended preschool and for that I am very grateful. It lets me know that my money isn’t being wasted and that she is teachable so to speak. So where is my frustration? I’m glad you asked…

As I told you previously in Sweet Pea Turns 3, my love is quite the active 3 year old. She knows her ABC’s, can count to 20, knows her colors and shapes. She LOVES to sing and dance, she loves to read, and has memory like none other, yet still to some it appears that isn’t quite meeting the mark. Although her speech is coming along and she is forming sentences, she still expresses herself some thru “baby babble”. I see the way people look at her when she goes into her babble and I try to look past it, not to get offended and go into defense mode over my child. But it’s definitely easier said than done. By the books she is developing just as a normal 3 year old should, hitting milestones just as the charts state, and her doctor has told me that she is perfectly normal. But to the public eye it may seem as though she’s somewhat behind her peers. I do not want to put a label on my baby because I do not believe that anything is wrong with her. Just as she took her time with potty training, she will come into her vocabulary in her time. To be honest sometimes I just find it easier to say to myself, “She was a preemie so she still has time”. But I do not want to think that way or have that label hanging over her head the rest of her life. God designed and created her just the way He saw fit and when she is ready to express herself the “normal” way she will.

I guess my frustration is wrapped around those thoughts of other people and trying not to allow their unspoken opinions about my child play on my mind. If I could place her in a bubble until she’s the communication queen I would (lol) but I know that is not reality. Instead I will just allow her to continue to grow and develop at her own pace. If my husband and I see fit that she needs to see a speech therapist we will make that decision at that time, based off of our own intuition and not the opinions of others. I’m going to continue to work with her and just enjoy watching her grow from one stage to the next.

I’m sorry that today’s post is a little different and I didn’t talk about anything to inspire you per say, but today I just needed to vent and uplift my own spirits. I hope you understand…

Me&SweetPea

sig KT

#FMF:FillMeFriday

Happy Friday ladies! I would like to start a new Friday hashtag series called Fill Me Friday (#FMF, #FillMeFriday). This means that on Fridays I will share about being “Filled.” Being Filled? Yes being Filled, fill me (up) with LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LAUGHTER, THE HOLY SPIRIT, GOOD EATS, INSPIRATION, SAVINGS… just an endless list of categories that can be filling to our hearts, mind, and body, as well as to our families and friends. To begin this series I’ll make today

#FMF:GRATITUDE

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
911We will always remember the lives lost on September 11th, 2001.

We are
One color
One class
One generation
One gender
One faith
One language
One body
One family
One soul
One people
We are The Power of One.
We are United. We are America.
~Cheryl Sawyer

Have a wonderful weekend ladies!
sig TW

Back Down Memory Lane

Happy Wednesday Girlfriends!!

I want to apologize in advance for today’s post being out of the norm of what I usually give you. My life recently has been SUPER crazy and to be honest I just haven’t had the spare time to really sit down and write a valuable post. So today I thought I would do something different.

We officially launched our blog in June, however we’ve been writing since February! So today I thought I’d reach back into our archives and share our very first blog post, which tells the story of our beautiful sisterhood. My Girlfriends

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I hope you all enjoy this trip down memory lane and I promise to get back with you next week with an original. Pray my strength that I get through my long to-do list between now and then! 🙂

Much Love,

sig KT