Month: January 2016

Sweet Revenge

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Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?! Haha yeah I’m being silly but so serious. This song is what I call the reality of the aftermath when we want to get REVENGE! So if you’ve been keeping up with me lately, you know I last spoke about “Choosing to Forgive.” I decided to swallow that lump in my throat (known as pride and anger) and did what God told me is/was the right thing to do and I forgave people. But I still have my moments of feeling like but what about them Lord? How is it fair that they can hurt me and ridicule me and yet suffer no consequences? I’ve had the most random of thoughts and images of how to seek revenge like – when Mary (MoNique- Precious) charged up the chairs after Precious, or Sheila (Jill Scott- Why did I Get Married) saying “I wondered what I would do when I saw you again- if I would cuss you out or stomp you in the street, whoop that @**!,” or doing childish things like block their number or deleting them from social media and become invisible to them- only to prove what point? Is that really revenge? Will it really make me feel any better? And truthfully, no it wouldn’t. When people hurt you, disappoint you, and downright piss you off, the only way to seek revenge against them is to PRAY FOR THEM. To pray for their minds and their hearts.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God’s wrath (and His judicial righteousness); for it is written (in Scripture), “Vengeance is Mine, I will Repay,” says the Lord. –Romans 12:19 (AMP)

So yes, the old Yolanda Adams’ song remains true, that the battle is not yours it’s the Lord’s. So quit trying to fight it. Stop worrying about it and let Him do Him. You’ve been doing you long enough, now turn it over to Him. Here’s what God has promised you:

No weapon that is formed against you will succeed; And every tongue that rises against you in judgment you will condemn. This (peace, righteousness, security, and triumph over opposition) is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from Me,” says the Lord. – Isaiah 54:17

God is telling you to trust Him, they will not prosper! So ladies before you try going after those that wronged you with threats, fists, and/or fire – first take a moment to stop and pray, so that God can speak to your situation. You don’t want the authorities coming after you!

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“Think Quick”

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I peer through my lashes as they slowly peel apart, evidence of “Mr. Sandman” on my eyes, I tried so hard to stay awake. With such anticipation I sit up in bed and snatch my pillow up in the air and look with such excitement…….she came!!!!!!! she came!!!!! the Tooth Fairy that is.

Don’t you remember as a child looking forward to loosing a tooth just to see the Tooth Fairy or what she may bring? Well currently at my home, my oldest has finally started this milestone. The first tooth came out during summer camp and I missed it, but the Tooth Fairy left behind Barbie’s little sister with a dollar in the box, courtesy of mommy. The second tooth got pulled by daddy, thank God, that tooth for some reason didn’t get bumped by her permanent tooth, so the permanent tooth started coming in, and it was waaaayyyy behind the baby tooth (I cringe at the thought of braces down the line). For that one being pulled out, she got $5. Somehow I totally missed this third tooth even being loose. We are sitting at the table eating pizza and wings and my girl is going in on the chicken when she backs up from the table with this shocked looked on her face and opens here mouth. Its full of blood and barbecue sauce (yuck!!! I know) with the wing still in hand she shouts “My tooth came out!!!!!”. We are all excited for her and even FaceTimed the grandparents. She put her tooth in a Ziploc bag and off to sleep she went. The next morning, I rolled out of bed after fighting for space with my two and proceeded to make breakfast and my baby girl comes in the kitchen with such a sad face. She says ” the Tooth Fairy didn’t come” I gasp and immediately internally kicking myself, how the heck could I forget. I quickly say “oh its because it’s snowing, she couldn’t get here and back before the storm came” she had a look on her face that let me know she didn’t quit by my story. So I added a little more to it, “plus your brother was up all night so she couldn’t come.” Yes! she bought it and walked away, man did I feel bad, but I honestly, completely forgot. A few hours later daddy comes in and immediately she tells him about how the Tooth Fairy didn’t come. He desperately asks her, “well where did you sleep last night?” she says “In mommy’s bed” mind you, I didn’t have a chance to catch him up to speed yet. So he follows that with a go check in your bed. He walks with her and “pulls” out a dollar from under her pillow. Of course she’s excited but now also puzzled considering what I already told her and the fact that she now has a dollar, yet her tooth is in her hand. I think we got away with it this time, but I’m thinking it won’t be long. Anyone else ever forget the Tooth Fairy?

 

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Getting Back to Me

I’m fat! Yeah that’s right I said it. I’m F-A-T point, blank, period! No need to sugar coat it; I’m not “fluffy”, “thick”, “big-boned”, I am just fat! HA!! No I do not have low self-esteem and no I’m not beating myself up, I’m just now choosing to stop making excuses and tell it like it T-I-IS!!!

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I recently had a conversation with my husband, a hard conversation ya’ll, I mean hard! Lol I swallowed my pride, attempted to push my emotions aside, pulled my big girl panties up and asked my husband if he thought that I needed to lose weight! Yeah I know, what was I thinking right? LOL! No but in all seriousness I had started to let myself go. I was dealing with the recent loss of our baby and had just gotten to a point where I didn’t care anymore. I was already big before getting pregnant and after finding out picked up weight pretty quickly and probably even more while dealing with the grief. But I’d had enough; I was not happy with myself and it was time to get it together and take care of myself so that I’m healthy enough to be here, until the Lord calls me home, to take care of my Sweet Pea! So back to the conversation…I could tell that I put my husband in an awkward position because he paused probably thinking this conversation could really take a left turn lol. But he was open and honest with me, he told me what I didn’t want to hear, but needed to hear…”Yes, you could lose a few pounds”. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh daggers in the heart, swallow those tears, fix your face, and most importantly get your health back on track!

So Girlfriends that is what I have done! It took hearing those words from my husband for me to make a decision that I can’t live like this any longer! So what have I changed? I’m glad you asked. For starters I’m back working out! I joined a gym in November, and actually found out I was pregnant that day, and have never stepped a foot back in the door since signing the papers LOL! Sad I know!! But in the interim my sister found a local boot camp that was offering the whole month of January for free and asked me to do it with her. I was hesitant at first, but was like hey this is what I need to really get me going. My initial thought was that I’d do the free camp and then start the gym in February and use the techniques I’ve learned. Well I have now completed the 3rd week of camp and am already seeing results YESSSSSSSSS!!!! So my plan has changed a bit. I’ve (well me and hubby) decided that I’m going to continue with the boot camp because my trainer is a beast and the type of work out she’s providing I will never do on my own. It’s tough, definitely not a cake walk, but I’m finding that I love the push! In addition to working out consistently, I’ve also changed my eating habits and increased my water intake. I do really well during the week; it’s the weekends that I need to get better with tho. But that will come in time. I’m just proud of myself for making these few strides towards my goal of living a healthier lifestyle.

So who’s with me? Are you willing to jump on board with one being my accountability partners and checking in to make sure I’m staying on track and two to make a commitment to live a healthier lifestyle yourself? If you’re struggling in this area, trust me you are not alone, we are in this thing together!

Cheers to being healthy, staying healthy, getting back to me, or better yet getting to know, love and embrace the new and improved me!

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? 20 You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So then, honor and glorify God with your body. ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 AMP

Peace & Blessings,

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Good Times…

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Hello luvs! I hope the weekend was lovely. Let me just say that there’s nothing better than having good times and making memories with family. We may not always have the time to spend that we want or the opportunity to travel for visits, but by golly it sure is nice when we do get together. Can I just say that I’m blessed to have a blended family that works! To be welcomed with open arms just feels lovely 😀. Granted, we’ve been a blended family for the past 18+ years and I couldn’t have asked for a more loving set of ladies. Anyway, over the long weekend my sister, niece and I went to visit my dad, mom, sisters and nieces in Maryland. Can I just say awesome weekend! From the surprise birthday treats for my sister to church on Sunday, just an overall nice and refreshing weekend; visited a local winery shared some exciting news, and spent time with my nieces.

Schedules can’t always work out, but hopefully the time between visits will get shorter and the stays become longer. Are there any of you ladies in blended families? Do you guys face any challenges or what were your initial hurdles to get through? I would love to hear your stories 😀

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I Choose to Forgive

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Hello ladies! Lately I’ve been learning how to put on my “big girl panties” and do those things which God requires of me. One of those things being to choose to forgive! No sin (mistake) is more or less worthy of forgiveness than another. Forgiveness is allowing yourself permission to heal and to be happy regardless of the darkness you’re facing. In order to forgive you have to view things from a different perspective, meaning instead thinking “this is just too painful or hard to let go” you have to tell yourself “well because this is so painful and hard, I must let it go.” When you forgive you take on a new role, the switch is flipped from victim to survivor. You are now a survivor of your darkness. When you begin to walk through your life as a survivor you instantly are relieved of the hurt, pain, and bitterness. It’s all a choice, you can either choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Forgiveness involves giving up on the hopes of having a better past. The past is now gone. You have to give up on the “shoulds” because the “should” is like dreaming upon a fantasy and not living and accepting the reality. You can’t keep thinking of how things “ought to be” because that’s not reality. You have to love a person as who they are- flaws and all, not as you wish they were. I recently read a statement, that in the process of forgiveness, every true attempt in forgiving strengthens you. For every small effort you make gives you huge rewards. And that the miracle of forgiveness is that there comes a moment when you will no longer remember what you thought you could never forget. The Bible reminds us in Matthew 6:14-15, For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men of their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him [drop the issue, let it go], so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you, your transgressions and wrongdoings [against Him and others].- Mark 11:25 (AMP)

So in order for you to be right with the Father it is necessary to forgive the sins of others. Ladies, whatever you may be going through or have faced in life- betrayal, neglect, abuse, infidelity, etc. you can still choose to FORGIVE. There’s no hurt nor pain that God can’t heal. He wants you to seek forgiveness so that He can forgive you. It’s an amazing feeling knowing that we have the option of forgiveness because some of the things we’ve faced in life is just too unbearable for us to continue to carry around. God doesn’t want us to carry those burdens. Psalm 55:22 says, Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. So today, will you choose to forgive?

Have a wonderful day (walking in forgiveness)!

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He Has A Plan for You

The newness of the year is still fresh and I’m sure most of us are still sorting and organizing all of the plans that we have set to accomplish before year end. Some of those goals we will accomplish, excel and achieve to the best of our ability however let’s face reality; others may be out of reach, seemingly difficult to complete or just not in HIS plan for our lives in this season.

This brings to mind one of my favorite passages of scripture

Jeremiah 29

The other day I was reading a daily devotional by Short Daily Devotions which discussed this passage of scripture and I thought what a perfect time to share with my Girlfriends. In this devotion the author reminds us that God has a plan for our lives, good, bad and indifferent, it is all a part of His plan. So often when failures or self-deemed missed opportunities come up we quickly say “It wasn’t meant to be” or “It just wasn’t my time.” What if we start looking at it from a different perspective? In the most difficult of situations, we have to remember He STILL has a plan and has our best interest at heart! Yes it may hurt, it might make you cry, but it’s all for the fulfillment of the plan He has already written for your life. But it doesn’t stop there. We must also remember to continue to seek HIS face in those difficult times to see what it is that He wants to teach us from this situation. Once it has been made clear to you, bless someone else that may be going through the same or similar situation. I made it through and guess what so can you! (Ask me how I know)

So I encourage you today to revisit that list of goals again, but this time do not look at them alone. Ask your Father in Heaven about that list. Find out what it is that HE has for you this year, not just solely what you have for you this year. And if you step outside of His will and do your own thing, it happens (be honest), once you realign yourself, accept that it did not work your way and focus on what He has laid before you. Be encouraged, continue to seek His face and submit to His will in EVERYTHING concerning your life, be a blessing to others (don’t be stingy!) and watch His plan (in due season) be unfolded before your eyes.

Peace & Blessings,

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“We’re Two-ing it”

 

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Welp, my little guy is now TWO (let’s have a moment of silence for this mommy balling for the baby that isn’t a baby anymore) and to make it more official now we’ve finally officially kicked the paci to the curb. Well it was more like daddy lost it and I had finished a 12 hour shift and wasn’t going out to buy another one. After looking throughout the house in all the, now empty, secret stashes….oh come on, those of you that had pacifier babies know you hide them everywhere for emergency purposes. Anyway, after a tough night I thought, well we made it through, let’s try another and before we knew it he stopped asking for the “pa-hee”. In fact I told him we gave it to the crying babies and somehow he was okay with that after a few “falling out” moments.  We have entered the biting, the scratching, the wanting anything sissy has phase.  I know I have a two year old, but at times I swear his appetite is that of a teenager. Now moving on to the other “thing” drum roll please……………POTTY TRAINING. About a month before he turned two I noticed he was interested in the Potty, wanting to sit on it and was pretty good about it if I got him to it first thing when he woke up and of course when he was successful we always make a big fuss about it. A few accidents here and there, mainly mommy trying to figure out how to sit a boy on the seat without ending up with a mess right in front. He occasionally attempts the whole standing up thing which tends to end in a mess or a near miss…..me just catching the toilet seat in the nick of time from slamming down on his you know what. Just recently he is going #2 in the pull-ups then runs to the bathroom to “dump” it in the toilet and somehow he feels accomplished……lol. Those who have potty trained little boys we need some help!!!!!!

 

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Accepting My Truth

The freshness of the New Year is still upon us and just about everyone is on their “New year, new me” kick. Most people are excited about a fresh start and leaving the stress, worries and problems of last year behind them. (Writer included) But let’s be honest for a second, problems of the year past did not magically disappear when the clock struck midnight. There were some things that followed us into the new year, as things that we are still learning to accept, cope and deal with. That’s exactly where I am today, learning to accept my truth…

Accepting My Truth

This is in no way easy for me to discuss and even as I type my heart is racing as its becoming even more real as I look at it in front of me. So what’s my truth? What’s that 1 thing that I can’t seem to shake from 2015…a miscarriage.

November 2015 my husband and I found out we were pregnant. It came as a surprise but we accepted it and was prepared to make the necessary adjustments to welcome the newest member of our family. Within a month’s time, 3 ultrasounds later, one showing a 6 week fetus at a gestational age of 9 weeks, a faint heart beat, to I’m sorry Mrs. Phillips there is no longer a pregnancy sac.

It felt like a nightmare that I was hoping I would soon awake from, sometimes it still does. Lord why now, why me? Why get my hopes up, why let me hear a heartbeat, to just take it all away? After getting thru those emotions and thinking that I was finally getting over it now I read different Facebook posts with exciting pregnancy announcements. Lord that was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be making my announcement around this time. Uggghhhh why can’t I shake this!!!! Lord what lesson are you trying to teach me this time? Why does this test have to be so hard?

Even through all of that, through all my hurt and heartache, through masking it all with a smile, I am comforted by the Comforter knowing that this too shall pass. Although I don’t understand it completely yet I know that my Father has my best interest at heart and was protecting me from further heartache later down the road. It just wasn’t the right time, I can hear my Father saying “Not yet daughter”. It’s up to me to accept that as my truth right now. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and it’s just as simple as that.

In closing today I want to encourage you even in the midst of my storm. You may not have all the answers now, you may be hurting and feeling like you can’t go another further but trust me sis you can. Whatever it is that may have followed you into the new year, I beckon you to keep pushing forward, take it one day at a time, and most importantly…

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. ~ Proverbs 3:5 AMP

Peace & Blessings,

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Transition = Transformation

Hello ladies!

I thought this quote taken from Proverbs 31 Ministries was most fitting today. In this devotion, Lynn Cowell says “As we lean into God, asking for strength through the peace or through the pain, He will make us into the women He’s intended for us to become: Women becoming God’s definition of beautiful.”

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This really touched me. I don’t often refer to myself as “beautiful” but the mere thought of becoming God’s definition of beautiful excites me. Although the days we’ve treaded may not have always been the best of days, they were still ordained by God. And as we’ve now entered into a New Year you will have to learn how to embrace transition (I know I will) in order to accept His transformation for your life. I’m no longer afraid to allow the pressure of transition to transform my life. I want His fruit to grow more and more in me, each and every day.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP)

I hope this devotion has touched your hearts today and that you will become the woman God has intended for you to be!

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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