Confession time…I have a problem that I’m working on and I need some help…I sometimes allow trivial things to bother me! Okay so you are probably like “ummmm, okay what’s the big deal”. Don’t worry I will tell you. When I say I let things get to me, I mean really get to me. Like I can’t stop thinking about it, end up dreaming about it and then wake up to the same thoughts that haunt me throughout my day.
Without giving too many details, I will give you a brief example. Recently I saw something on social media that didn’t sit well with me and it was something that sorta kinda affected someone super close to me. Ya’ll this thing bothered me wayyyyyy more than it should have! I talked to my husband about it and he told me not to worry about it and to just let it go. But I couldn’t! I sat up late that night thinking about it and began to pray to ask the Lord to help me shake it. My spirit man REALLY wanted to let it go, but that petty flesh wanted to have its way. I had all kinds of thoughts in my mind and shady ways that I could respond to reflect my feelings but something just wouldn’t allow me to do. I ended up tossing and turning all night with these thoughts running all up and thru my dreams! Ugh why do I allow such small things to bother me the way that they do? The next day it was still bothering me so I mentioned it to my mom and my sister. My Mama, bless her heart, always finds the positive in every situation and my sister said that she knew that it was bothering me and shared her thoughts. Yet through all of the good advice I still couldn’t let it go!!!!
So once again I went before the Lord and asked Him in the most sincere way to remove every thought about the situation including every petty, shady thought or action that may bubble up there after. (Side bar – Don’t you wish sometimes that you could be released to use the pettiness that resides within? Come on be honest!!! No, just me? HA! Okay scratch that from the record lol) Even with a sincere prayer ya’ll I still find this to be SO hard! Like I am so much better than this, but can I just take a moment to be transparent and share this thorn in my flesh? In these moments, every part of my flesh wants to showcase how I really feel about these trivial matters, but that something I mentioned above is really Someone who resides on the inside of me and just will not allow me to step completely out of character. Instead of being rude, although that is what I desire for the moment, I have to rise above all of that, shake myself and make sure that I represent the Christ inside of me and allow Him to shine through Katesha. As hard as it may be at times, it has to be done.
With this particular situation, I was definitely tested to see if I could do what was mentioned above. And I mean the next day type of test. Like really Dad, that’s how we rolling? lol And I’m not going to lie and say that my flesh didn’t leap just a little and wasn’t ready for battle because it was, trust me, but I took a deep breath, shook myself and acted like I was (am) my Father’s child. I am still a work in progress and find that moments like these continually keep me humble, remind me that I have not yet arrived and still have plenty of growing to do. But it also shows me just how far I’ve come because just a few years back I would have confronted the situation a COMPLETELY different way. But as my Grandma used to say “Thank God for Jesus!”
So I’m making it my mission to continue to work on this ever-present flaw in my life. I want to get to the place that when small, trivial things that really just don’t matter start to bother me I can look in the mirror and remind myself that I’m blessed and completely unbothered by it. But, as always, when I say it I want to actually mean it. That’s the hard part, but it has to be done! I need to get to a place where I’m unbothered by things that again just really don’t matter. If it’s not pushing me closer to Christ or adding money to my pockets, then again it just REALLY does NOT matter. Maybe I will add this as another mantra for the year….”I’m Blessed and Unbothered”.
Ya’ll pray for me, please! If you have struggled with this in the past and have overcome it, please share your thoughts on how you made it over! I welcome the advice!
[ A Thorn in the Flesh ] Because of the surpassing greatness and extraordinary nature of the revelations [which I received from God], for this reason, to keep me from thinking of myself as important, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment and harass me—to keep me from exalting myself ~ 2 Corinthians 12:7
trying to learn [by experience] what is pleasing to the Lord [and letting your lifestyles be examples of what is most acceptable to Him—your behavior expressing gratitude to God for your salvation]. ~ Ephesians 5:10
Peace & Blessings,
(Photo Cred: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/2040762310050793/)