Category: Kids

My Precious Treasure

In a recent leadership meeting at church our Chief of Staff took a moment to give recognition to Sweet Pea. She talked about how much she has grown up and is always so well-behaved in meetings and around the church in general. That made me feel great as a parent but it was what she said next that really stuck with me. She went on to celebrate how Sweet Pea already has a heart for worship and servitude at such a young age. She celebrated how she is always ready to help mommy during our women’s sessions and is actually excited about it. I can’t really describe how much that statement filled my heart with joy. As I looked down at my bashful Sweet Pea and fought back tears, I realized I hadn’t really looked at her in that way before nor really recognized just how much she has grown not just physically, but spiritually.

To say that she is a church baby is quite the understatement. She is with mommy and daddy at every Bible Study, Sunday Morning Worship service, Children’s church event, leadership trainings, meetings…you name it, she’s there! Normally I pack her some activities to keep her occupied, but more and more she’s less interested in those activities and desire to be a part of the service. At our church during praise & worship we go down to the altar. I love being free in worship and when I’m not all the way caught up lol I love watching her as she worships in her own way. I’ve caught her a few times looking back at me to see what I was doing. If I have my hands lifted in worship, so does she. If I’m worshipping through my words, after looking back she will turn around and open her mouth to give praise to the Master. While I find it cute and have giggled a time or two, I now see how much she is starting to understand.

Before I would have to tell her to close her eyes for prayer or to lift her hands in worship, but now she goes for it all on her own. She even comes back home and carries on her own worship service with us as her congregation or with her dolls and stuff animals. She runs to grab her Bible to bring to one of us to read or to look at the pictures and “read” it for herself. She understands the power of prayer and will quickly ask for you to pray for her stumped toe or bumped knee lol. It all just makes me heart glad. My prayer is that she continues on this Christian journey and as she gets older goes for God like none before. I pray that her father and I will continue to be great examples of the love of Christ through parenting her and that we will slow down from every day life to cultivate that ever-growing flame in her heart. That we will walk the scriptures with her and ultimately lead her towards fulfilling her purpose in life. I don’t want her to have to wait as long as I did to give Christ a full surrender. I don’t want her to miss opportunities, I want her to be SO much better than me in every aspect of life.

I know that the special recognition was directed at Sweet Pea but I would like to believe that it was for me and Hubby as well. It was a wake up call that we need to do all that we can now to stir up all of the gifts and purpose that are within Sweet Pea. It is our duty to protect and shield her from anything that could detour her away from what God has placed over her life. Even at the age of 4. We have to be careful what she is exposed to and what we allow her to participate in. I know I’ve said it before but I am so thankful that my Father chose me to mother this precious treasure and I’m going to do all that I can to bring Him glory through her.

But we have this precious treasure [the good news about salvation] in [unworthy] earthen vessels [of human frailty], so that the grandeur and surpassing greatness of the power will be [shown to be] from God [His sufficiency] and not from ourselves. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7 AMP

Peace & Blessings,

Photo Cred: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/daughter-quotes/

I’m Just NOT READY!

Long hallways, school bell, huge cafeteria, teachers, TAs, core classes, electives, recess, before & after care…..you guessed it…Kindergarten and I’m just NOT READY!!!

I recently just started going on magnet school tours to get a feel for the school that I want Sweet Pea to attend next year and it is a bit much. There is just SO much to consider. There are SO many different school based themes and tracks to consider and ultimately I just want what is best for my Sweet Pea. On top of all of that my emotions are on an all time high! I think its worse this time than what I described in my previous post, I Got the Blues, when I talked about my feelings with her starting preschool. This time its the real thing. When she enters that school next August, she will no longer be my baby, she will be a big girl like for real and y’all I am just NOT READY!!!

I was a soldier during the first tour, but yesterday was a little different. As the magnet coordinator and school principal walked us down the halls, showing us the ins and outs of their programs I could feel the anxiety rise and tears start to well. I had to swallow hard a few times as I watched the kids working hard in their classrooms and picturing my Sweet Pea there with them. When we went in the cafeteria I almost lost it! All I could see in my mind was Sweet Pea walking with her tray, trying to find a seat and I just wanted to scream. And to make matters worse this is when a question was posed by another parent asking if the kindergartners are escorted to their classes and to lunch and the answer was NO! **insert distressed emoji** What do you mean no? What if my baby gets lost? In my mind all I see is her clammed up crying because she doesn’t know where to go which will make me cry because I will not there to help her. (Tears welling up again)

Every night when I put Sweet Pea in bed, after she has said her prayers and I love yous and kisses have been given, she always asks if I’m going to stay with her tomorrow. During the week, my reply is always “no mommy has to go to work tomorrow” to which her response is “No mommy I want you to stay with me”. I think this is the brink of my anxiety and all of this emotion, knowing that I can’t be with her at all times and one day her desires will change and she will be on her own path in life. In my mind and in my heart she will always be my sweet, sweet 4lb 8oz baby that will always need and depend on me. And although l will always be here for her I just have to accept that its time to let her go and allow her to develop into her own person. And to think I want to have another baby and go thru this all over again LOL!

I need for y’all to pray for me, like for real. I know that I am not the only mother that has gone through this process, and I may be a little dramatic in how I’m dealing with it all, but I need my Girlfriends to back me up because I’m just NOT READY!

Peace & Blessings,

She’s Watching Me

No wait, watch mommy do it.

I find myself saying this to Sweet Pea quite often when I’m showing her something new or correcting the way she’s currently doing something. I’m her mommy, that’s what I do. I enjoy those teachable moments and look forward to those that are yet to come. Outside of those moments, I’m starting to realize that she’s watching me even when I don’t notice. She is quite the look parrot and likes to copy things that I say, my mannerisms, shadowing my every move. When I catch her in those moments it simply makes my heart melt.

As a parent its typical to want your child to be better and go above and beyond that which you have accomplished. Sounds cliché, but it is one of my truest desires. I try so hard not to worry about her, but I do. I want to protect her, shield her from any and every type of harm that could potentially come her way. Although I miss that sweet newborn stage, I wouldn’t trade my 4-year-old mini me for anything in this world. I appreciate her innocence, her inquisitiveness (even when she asks a million questions at a time lol), her imagination. **Deep sigh** Can she stay this small forever? lol

She is my motivation to want to do better. She is the drive that keeps me going on my worst days. I can’t let baby girl down, she’s watching me. On the days I feel like I’m failing as my role of mother, her love for me makes me feel like super woman and pushes me to keep pressing on. I want her to grow up to be proud of me like I am of my mother. I want her to know that mommy did all of this for her.

Moral of the story today, I take pride in my title of mother. God has blessed me with my own little accountability partner. I have to watch my words, my actions because she’s watching me. I can’t expect her to be great if I’m not showing her the same. Every day is not perfect, nor will it be, but I promise to put forth every effort to get as close as possible, just because she’s watching me.

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Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired) – Proverbs 31:28

Peace & Blessings,

sig KT

Don’t Mess With Mama’s Baby

So this is supposed to be my off week, but since my Girlfriends are still on a sabbatical, no shade, (well maybe a little lol 😉 ) and because I feel like writing, I’m going to do just that!

Last weekend Sweet Pea and I attended one of her classmates’ 4th birthday party. Now I have to be honest, I was reluctant of going at first. Sweet Pea attends a predominantly Caucasian school, that doesn’t bother me, but the idea of going to someone’s house knowing we would be the “only two” made me second guess if we should go or not. I had to quickly remind myself that it wasn’t about my feelings, I needed to stop being selfish and put the focus back on what mattered, giving Sweet Pea some girl time with her peers.

So I got up, got us both dressed (as twins in black and white 🙂 ), pulled out her Cinderella dress, picked up a gift and headed to the Princess themed party! When we arrived everyone was extremely friendly, Sweet Pea was a little shy since we were in a new space, but once she saw some faces she recognized she quickly warmed up. The hosting mom had on her fairy godmother dress as she was the “head princess in charge” and got the games and activities started. We made crowns, had a fashion show, ate cupcakes and had the option of Princess Punch or Fairy Fuzz to drink, cute right? lol So after all was said and done and the party was pretty much over the kids had open free play. I sat back and watched Sweet Pea interact with her peers. I noticed one little girl who was a little bossy and blatantly told Sweet Pea that she couldn’t play with the tea set, pushed her back and handed the cup to another little girl. Okay if you know me by now you know that didn’t sit well with me at all. I wanted to jump in and take over like no she can play, but I sat back and observed to see how Sweet Pea would handle it. She didn’t let it bother her and kept playing. So then this little child told my baby “You can be my waitress”………………………………….*blank stare*……………………….

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It didn’t bother Sweet Pea because she just wanted to play, but it bothered mommy a lot! This little chick even went and got another girl and said that Sweet Pea would be their waitress. Now remember I said we were the “only two” at the party. None of the other moms were near us so they didn’t hear what was going on. Ya’ll when I tell you my ears were burning from the rage that was building up. First you push my child, then tell her that she can be your hired help….I had to remind myself that this little girl was only 4 and is only a product of what she’s taught in her home. As you probably guessed by now, it wasn’t long before we gathered our belongings, said our thank yous to the host family and left.

I play about a lot of things, but my family is not one of them. My mind was all over the place after leaving. I’m thinking like does she deal with this type stuff at school all the time? Does she allow these kids to push her around? What is being said to her, or what are people’s thoughts of her? Do I have to teach her about racism at 4? This is my baby I don’t want to have this talk with her this early, but I did. I let her know to not allow anyone to push her around, that she needs to let someone know when the other kids aren’t playing fairly and most importantly I let her know that you are no one’s waitress. If that is a job she desires to have when of age fine, but you are no one’s hired help okay!!!

Girlfriends tell me, did I overreact or was I right in my thinking? I just want to protect her in any and every way that I can. I don’t want to be THAT mom but then again I do. I know she will be exposed to a lot when she’s not with me especially this day in age but I want to make sure she understands how to carry herself and defend herself when necessary. If I could put her in a bubble I would lol But since I can’t I will continue to teach her and most importantly pray for the Lord’s covering and protection over her life.

I apologize for the length of today’s post, I just needed to get it off my chest and who better to do that with than with my girlfriends. Thanks for listening or reading rather lol 🙂

Peace & Blessings,

sig KT

 

A Mother’s Remorse

Traveling with kids is a hassle but to me traveling without them is even worse! In my opinion at least. A few weeks ago I had to travel with my job to Texas and was gone for pretty much the entire week. Preparing and packing was somewhat stressful. I had to make sure Sweet Pea had everything she needed for summer camp; washed, ironed and laid out all of her outfits for the week; had to make sure she had lunch to pack for the week; had to make sure Hubby was straight; wrote out the meal plan for the week; oh and had to pack and make sure I was prepared mentally for my crazy work schedule. While part of me was excited to go to the resort (it was gorgeous by the way LOL) another part of me was somewhat sad to leave Sweet Pea behind, oh and my hubby too of course LOL!! This was my first time going on an extended trip where she was knowledgeable that mommy was going away for a few days without her and she didn’t let me off easy! She’s going through a phase where she is learning to truly express her emotions. We go from “Mommy I feel sad” to “Mommy I’m angry” ending with a “Mommy I’m excited” all in one sentence LOL!! Gotta love 4 year olds right!

So back to the trip, the days leading up to my departure I made sure to explain to Sweet Pea that Mommy had to get on a big airplane and go on a trip for a few days. Of course her first question was “Am I going too” *insert sad face* *deep sigh* “Not this time Sweet Pea, but Mommy will be back before you know it.” Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this was SO hard! Isn’t it crazy how we as mothers always say that we need a break but when we get one start feeling bad or miss them immediately? Not you, okay maybe its just me! lol Fast forward to the morning that I left. Immediately when I walked in the room to tell her see you later, she looked at me with those big puppy dog eyes and said with the saddest little voice “Bye mommy” Man it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard for me not to burst into tears! I am so emotional ya’ll lol. Nana sensed the emotions between me and Sweet Pea so she quickly intervened and told Sweet Pea to tell me to have a great trip and I quickly turned around to leave. Someone please tell me that this gets better as they get older!!!

Once I arrived in Texas and throughout a very crazy and hectic work week there, I made sure to steal away if only for 5 minutes to hear my baby girl’s voice over the phone. It felt SO good to hear her “Heyyyyyy Mommy” on the other end of the line. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and our reunion was even the more special. I tried to throw hints at my hubby that he and Sweet Pea should park and wait for me at baggage claim. I like to imagine my life to be like the movies sometimes. You know seeing someone come up the escalator, hearing a big exciting scream, the two run towards each other and embrace type of reunion. But it didn’t quite pan out that way lol However when I saw the car pulling up to the curb, saw hubby’s big smile and Sweet Pea’s little head in the backseat, my heart skipped a beat. I think hubby barely put the car in park before jumping out, followed by Sweet Pea unbuckling her seat belt and leaping from that car seat. That was one of the BEST hugs I’ve ever received from her! (Okay I’m about to cry sitting here thinking about HA!) She wrapped those little arms around my neck, squeezed real tight and at that moment everything felt right with the world.

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Becoming a mother was one of the greatest gifts the Lord could have ever blessed me with. And I try to make sure I do not take it for granted and instead cherish every moment good and bad. While I hated to have to leave my baby girl here for that long, the distance and separation just made me appreciate my gift even the more. Maybe so much that I might just be ready for another little gift…. 😉

Peace & Blessings,

 sig KT

“Dust til 8”

So I often talk about my children and the day to day adventures that occurs in our family so why not share what’s been going on lately. So I’ll start with my oldest child, she has now entered into a time where it’s no longer a cool thing to have a brother. She is desperately trying to hold onto him being a baby as I am too, but this little fella is not having it. She is unable to steal a kiss or a hug from him without him frantically wiping his face as if its straight acid. She tries to help him out (she’s a little mama) and the response that we always get is “I do it”. He seems to be as big as she is so picking him up is a just awkward for everyone. We are on week three of potty training and I would say he pretty much has it down pack. We have had a total of three accidents in which mommy was not involved LOL. We couldn’t be more excited for him and our pocket of course, no more diapers. As of now he still wears a pull-up to bed although he’s been waking up dry. Lately it’s been a struggle because he wants to wear his big boy underwear to bed too, but this mama does not feel like stripping the bed in the middle of the night. With that being said using the public bathroom has been quite an adventure I have no idea why my little guy thinks a public bathroom stall is a children’s touch and feel Museum. I bout had an anxiety attack the first time I had to take him to use a public bathroom I was screaming PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS AND DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!. And then I couldn’t figure out whether to sit him down to go or should I let him stand up?……like it was just too much. Any suggestion for little boys using the ladies public bathroom? As for my baby girl on this spring break she has lost a total of three teeth two of which were the Chicklets in the front so you know how she is talking right about now LOL. I am proud to say that I have not forgotten my duty as Tooth Fairy even if it’s waking up at 5 o’clock in the morning with my phone flash light hunting for a tooth that never ever seems to be under the pillow and getting back out of the room before she wakes up. They are growing up fast, I try real hard not to blink, enjoy every moment of Dust til 8, or whenever your little one(s) crash.

 

 

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Thoughts of a Real Mother…

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From time to time, I have these moments, that I once believed was “just me” when on the outside I appear to “have it together” and a smile on my face, but on the inside I’m SCREAMING. I love my children deeply, but some days I don’t feel like being an adult, or a mother for that matter.  Some days I miss being able to take a shower without little hands pulling the shower curtain back just to make sure I didn’t go too far.  Or to simply sit on the toilet without the both of them joining me as if I need moral support.  Some days I just want to lay in bed all day, watching adult t.v. shows (remember I’m a fan of ratchet t.v.) and eating a full plate without half of my food being eaten by the littles that suddenly become hungry again after their two plates.  Some days having the sole responsibility for how two other people end up is a bit much.   Even as I have these thoughts and type them, a part of me feels guilty.  Is this normal? Should I feel this way? What about those “perfect” moms?  At times I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to be a “good mom”. I don’t necessarily feel like it came “natural” to me.  Shoot…half the time I’m making things up as I go.  The crazy part about it is, despite feeling this way at times, when the children are away, I have no clue what to do or I’m instantly eager to have them come back.  The plus side, is they have no idea mommy doesn’t know what the heck she’s doing.  They have no idea about my sleepless nights or the planning that’s involved in trying to have a smooth evening after school.  So even on my “worst” day as a mom, I’m still their mommy and they believe I’m the only one that can drive this ship.  So I began to pray and the Lord reminded me that He’s got me and them. He reminded me of when I sat at Planned Parenthood when I just found out I was expecting my first born (I will share that experience another time), that if I trust in Him, he will always have her, that WE would lack for nothing.  To this day, God has not went back on that word.  Now I may have my “whoa me” moments, but we lack for nothing.  As I scrolled down my Facebook news feed, I saw this quote on My Motherboard page and I was inspired to share the thoughts of a Real Mother.

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“Think Quick”

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I peer through my lashes as they slowly peel apart, evidence of “Mr. Sandman” on my eyes, I tried so hard to stay awake. With such anticipation I sit up in bed and snatch my pillow up in the air and look with such excitement…….she came!!!!!!! she came!!!!! the Tooth Fairy that is.

Don’t you remember as a child looking forward to loosing a tooth just to see the Tooth Fairy or what she may bring? Well currently at my home, my oldest has finally started this milestone. The first tooth came out during summer camp and I missed it, but the Tooth Fairy left behind Barbie’s little sister with a dollar in the box, courtesy of mommy. The second tooth got pulled by daddy, thank God, that tooth for some reason didn’t get bumped by her permanent tooth, so the permanent tooth started coming in, and it was waaaayyyy behind the baby tooth (I cringe at the thought of braces down the line). For that one being pulled out, she got $5. Somehow I totally missed this third tooth even being loose. We are sitting at the table eating pizza and wings and my girl is going in on the chicken when she backs up from the table with this shocked looked on her face and opens here mouth. Its full of blood and barbecue sauce (yuck!!! I know) with the wing still in hand she shouts “My tooth came out!!!!!”. We are all excited for her and even FaceTimed the grandparents. She put her tooth in a Ziploc bag and off to sleep she went. The next morning, I rolled out of bed after fighting for space with my two and proceeded to make breakfast and my baby girl comes in the kitchen with such a sad face. She says ” the Tooth Fairy didn’t come” I gasp and immediately internally kicking myself, how the heck could I forget. I quickly say “oh its because it’s snowing, she couldn’t get here and back before the storm came” she had a look on her face that let me know she didn’t quit by my story. So I added a little more to it, “plus your brother was up all night so she couldn’t come.” Yes! she bought it and walked away, man did I feel bad, but I honestly, completely forgot. A few hours later daddy comes in and immediately she tells him about how the Tooth Fairy didn’t come. He desperately asks her, “well where did you sleep last night?” she says “In mommy’s bed” mind you, I didn’t have a chance to catch him up to speed yet. So he follows that with a go check in your bed. He walks with her and “pulls” out a dollar from under her pillow. Of course she’s excited but now also puzzled considering what I already told her and the fact that she now has a dollar, yet her tooth is in her hand. I think we got away with it this time, but I’m thinking it won’t be long. Anyone else ever forget the Tooth Fairy?

 

sig LP

“We’re Two-ing it”

 

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Welp, my little guy is now TWO (let’s have a moment of silence for this mommy balling for the baby that isn’t a baby anymore) and to make it more official now we’ve finally officially kicked the paci to the curb. Well it was more like daddy lost it and I had finished a 12 hour shift and wasn’t going out to buy another one. After looking throughout the house in all the, now empty, secret stashes….oh come on, those of you that had pacifier babies know you hide them everywhere for emergency purposes. Anyway, after a tough night I thought, well we made it through, let’s try another and before we knew it he stopped asking for the “pa-hee”. In fact I told him we gave it to the crying babies and somehow he was okay with that after a few “falling out” moments.  We have entered the biting, the scratching, the wanting anything sissy has phase.  I know I have a two year old, but at times I swear his appetite is that of a teenager. Now moving on to the other “thing” drum roll please……………POTTY TRAINING. About a month before he turned two I noticed he was interested in the Potty, wanting to sit on it and was pretty good about it if I got him to it first thing when he woke up and of course when he was successful we always make a big fuss about it. A few accidents here and there, mainly mommy trying to figure out how to sit a boy on the seat without ending up with a mess right in front. He occasionally attempts the whole standing up thing which tends to end in a mess or a near miss…..me just catching the toilet seat in the nick of time from slamming down on his you know what. Just recently he is going #2 in the pull-ups then runs to the bathroom to “dump” it in the toilet and somehow he feels accomplished……lol. Those who have potty trained little boys we need some help!!!!!!

 

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Growing Pains…

Hey Girlfriends!!! I pray that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and were able to share it among loved ones!

Okay so today I’m having a mushy mommy moment! My baby is growing up toooooooooooooooooo fast!!! She has developed SO much since she started school and continues to shock me every day with new phrases and sentences. She is very observant and has quite a sharp memory! She can reenact everything from circle time at school to the flow of intercessory prayer during Sunday morning worship!! Lol! She is trip ya’ll and I love it!!! Nothing warms my heart more than when she randomly runs up to me, wraps those little arms around my neck, kisses me on the cheek and says “Mommy I just love you!” **insert tear**

I’m looking forward to continue to watch her grow and develop but can’t help but get sad when those Facebook memories pop up with all of her various baby pictures that I previously posted. Where has the time gone? She will be 4 in 4 months…did you hear me 4!!!! I don’t think I’m ready yet. I want her to stay this little forever, is that too much to ask for? Am I the only mommy that feels this way? I know I can be a little crazy sometimes, but come on now I know I am not alone!!! LOL!!!

I thank God for blessing me with the gift of motherhood and I wouldn’t trade it in for the world. The good days, bad days, and yes even the acceptance of these growing pains that Sweet Pea is developing into her own little person. Its tough to accept but I have to do it!

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And you know it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t flip the attention off myself and on to you Girlfriend! For those that have been blessed to be called Mother, treasure that title, pray for your children constantly and strive to be the best woman for the job! And for those ladies that have the desire to carry the title of mother one day, continue to present your petition to our Father. If it be His will I pray that your request be given to you in His timing!

Until next week…

Peace & Blessings,

sig KT