Category: Life’s Moments

“Check 1,2,3…check your company”

friend-zone-watch-the-company-you-keep    Every once in a while us ladies need to do a company check. You brothers do too, but personally because of the nature of a woman we can tend to “keep” company a tad bit closer/longer than the brothas. So lets define a few terms we all have heard before. The first term is parasite. A parasite is defined by “an organism that lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the hosts’ expense”. The second term is leech. A leech is defined by an aquatic or terrestrial annelid worm with suckers at both ends. Many species are bloodsucking parasites, especially of vertebrates, and others are predators. So in other words, a parasite typically attaches or coincides with something or someone where they (the parasite) are the only one benefiting from the interaction/relationship. The parasite makes you sick as it draws things out from you that you’re unable to even see; you’ve got to rid your self of it. Think about the “real” parasite that can be ingested and often times we don’t know it until we’re sick as a dog. Although a leech is a type of parasite, let me explain the difference. See a few years back, I had a post-op plastic surgery patient that had a skin flap which we used medical leeches for his therapy. You see though a leech is often described as a bloodsuckers, which it is, or a “moocher” or a drainer, in this case it was a reciprocal relationship. We applied leeches to this man’s skin flap to prevent the blood from clotting and to improved circulation of flow to this skin flap. I would say this was a: you scratch my back I scratch yours” kind of relationship/interaction. The leech got to eat and the man’s blood flow to this particular area improved. Another thing I’d like to point out is when working with leeches, the real ones, they tended to fall off when full, sounds like some people in our lives; once they have gained from you what they wanted they walk out. Yes the leeches I spoke about helped this particular patient out, but it was still a leech, and once it received all it could hold it fell off. Now think about the company you keep.

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Alternate Route

“In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].” – Proverbs 3: 6 AMP

Alternate Route PicHow many times have you strayed away from the “straight and narrow” path of life? How many wrong turns, alternate routes or U-turns have you made because you thought you had it all figured out? I’ve taken too many to count, but today I want to focus on a more recent “alternate route” taken on my journey through life (I just can’t seem to get it right…I digress for now lol)

So as you all know I started a graduate certificate program in August and I’ve wrote about the struggles of balancing it with everything else I have going on in my life. Well, sadly I report today that ship has come and gone HA! LOL! I did finish the semester with an A (yay!!) but was not feeling returning for another semester, at least not right now anyway. I didn’t feel like I was giving it my all and although I enjoyed the content of the class, I was over the concept of going to school. I’m like okay I did it, I told myself for years I’d go back, so I did but now I’m like nahhhhhhhhhhhh this is just not for me. So that got me to thinking was this really a part of my Father’s plan for my life or was this just Katesha getting in the way (again) and trying to do things on her own. I’ll take the latter for $500 Alex!

How many of you know that no matter what you may do to take your life into your own hands, God will get your attention any way He has to in order for you to realign yourself in His will. So here I am with one class under my belt, no desire to return to finish the certificate and now another bill to finish paying off….just another self-afflicted obstacle to get to where He wants me to be. Through prayer and meditation God showed me that what I was chasing after with that graduate certificate He has already laid it out before me without ever having to start that program. You see I wanted to take that program so that I could work with women to encourage, counsel and minister to them with a “certification” behind my name. God reminded me that one I have been placed in a ministry position at my church to work directly with women as the director of the women’s ministry (not title dropping just trying to use an illustration) and two He’s opened the door for me to reach women all over through this blog. In both venues I can do all that I desired to do through that certificate. I was so busy chasing my dream that I ventured off the original path that lead to Him. He has it all in control, not me, and through Him only can I accomplish that which He has already placed inside of me. Wow talk about an eye opener and a slap back to reality!

So today I encourage you to make sure that every step you take through life is ordained by the Master. Make sure that you are walking solely in His Will and not in your fleshly desires. Continue to make your requests known to Him and put Matthew 6:33 into motion:

“But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”

Forget the alternate route, stick with the original plan, HIS PLAN, and I promise that you will not fail.

Peace & Blessings,

sig KT

New Beginnings…

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Hello ladybugs! I pray that everyone’s weekend was fantabulous. I had a busy and overwhelming weekend, but nothing more than I could handle. With a new year comes new beginnings. As you ladies know, I’m a little over one year into the loss of my husband, navigating my way through the grieving process while handling estate affairs; so much in such a short time span. With so much to manage, at times I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I’m in a place now where I can make more concrete decisions, like to stay (temporarily) in my current city. Since making that choice, I’ve moved out!!!!!! Now, to many this may not be BIG NEWS, but to me it’s huge. For the first time since dating, engagement and marriage I’m alone. But don’t fret, I’m ok! It’s time to start life after death and make new memories.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:19

So as I enter this new chapter in life, I will go knowing that I’m not alone. Though things are unfamiliar along this path, I won’t lose sight or be afraid of the unknown. Until next time…

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Sweet Revenge

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Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?! Haha yeah I’m being silly but so serious. This song is what I call the reality of the aftermath when we want to get REVENGE! So if you’ve been keeping up with me lately, you know I last spoke about “Choosing to Forgive.” I decided to swallow that lump in my throat (known as pride and anger) and did what God told me is/was the right thing to do and I forgave people. But I still have my moments of feeling like but what about them Lord? How is it fair that they can hurt me and ridicule me and yet suffer no consequences? I’ve had the most random of thoughts and images of how to seek revenge like – when Mary (MoNique- Precious) charged up the chairs after Precious, or Sheila (Jill Scott- Why did I Get Married) saying “I wondered what I would do when I saw you again- if I would cuss you out or stomp you in the street, whoop that @**!,” or doing childish things like block their number or deleting them from social media and become invisible to them- only to prove what point? Is that really revenge? Will it really make me feel any better? And truthfully, no it wouldn’t. When people hurt you, disappoint you, and downright piss you off, the only way to seek revenge against them is to PRAY FOR THEM. To pray for their minds and their hearts.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God’s wrath (and His judicial righteousness); for it is written (in Scripture), “Vengeance is Mine, I will Repay,” says the Lord. –Romans 12:19 (AMP)

So yes, the old Yolanda Adams’ song remains true, that the battle is not yours it’s the Lord’s. So quit trying to fight it. Stop worrying about it and let Him do Him. You’ve been doing you long enough, now turn it over to Him. Here’s what God has promised you:

No weapon that is formed against you will succeed; And every tongue that rises against you in judgment you will condemn. This (peace, righteousness, security, and triumph over opposition) is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from Me,” says the Lord. – Isaiah 54:17

God is telling you to trust Him, they will not prosper! So ladies before you try going after those that wronged you with threats, fists, and/or fire – first take a moment to stop and pray, so that God can speak to your situation. You don’t want the authorities coming after you!

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“Think Quick”

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I peer through my lashes as they slowly peel apart, evidence of “Mr. Sandman” on my eyes, I tried so hard to stay awake. With such anticipation I sit up in bed and snatch my pillow up in the air and look with such excitement…….she came!!!!!!! she came!!!!! the Tooth Fairy that is.

Don’t you remember as a child looking forward to loosing a tooth just to see the Tooth Fairy or what she may bring? Well currently at my home, my oldest has finally started this milestone. The first tooth came out during summer camp and I missed it, but the Tooth Fairy left behind Barbie’s little sister with a dollar in the box, courtesy of mommy. The second tooth got pulled by daddy, thank God, that tooth for some reason didn’t get bumped by her permanent tooth, so the permanent tooth started coming in, and it was waaaayyyy behind the baby tooth (I cringe at the thought of braces down the line). For that one being pulled out, she got $5. Somehow I totally missed this third tooth even being loose. We are sitting at the table eating pizza and wings and my girl is going in on the chicken when she backs up from the table with this shocked looked on her face and opens here mouth. Its full of blood and barbecue sauce (yuck!!! I know) with the wing still in hand she shouts “My tooth came out!!!!!”. We are all excited for her and even FaceTimed the grandparents. She put her tooth in a Ziploc bag and off to sleep she went. The next morning, I rolled out of bed after fighting for space with my two and proceeded to make breakfast and my baby girl comes in the kitchen with such a sad face. She says ” the Tooth Fairy didn’t come” I gasp and immediately internally kicking myself, how the heck could I forget. I quickly say “oh its because it’s snowing, she couldn’t get here and back before the storm came” she had a look on her face that let me know she didn’t quit by my story. So I added a little more to it, “plus your brother was up all night so she couldn’t come.” Yes! she bought it and walked away, man did I feel bad, but I honestly, completely forgot. A few hours later daddy comes in and immediately she tells him about how the Tooth Fairy didn’t come. He desperately asks her, “well where did you sleep last night?” she says “In mommy’s bed” mind you, I didn’t have a chance to catch him up to speed yet. So he follows that with a go check in your bed. He walks with her and “pulls” out a dollar from under her pillow. Of course she’s excited but now also puzzled considering what I already told her and the fact that she now has a dollar, yet her tooth is in her hand. I think we got away with it this time, but I’m thinking it won’t be long. Anyone else ever forget the Tooth Fairy?

 

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Good Times…

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Hello luvs! I hope the weekend was lovely. Let me just say that there’s nothing better than having good times and making memories with family. We may not always have the time to spend that we want or the opportunity to travel for visits, but by golly it sure is nice when we do get together. Can I just say that I’m blessed to have a blended family that works! To be welcomed with open arms just feels lovely 😀. Granted, we’ve been a blended family for the past 18+ years and I couldn’t have asked for a more loving set of ladies. Anyway, over the long weekend my sister, niece and I went to visit my dad, mom, sisters and nieces in Maryland. Can I just say awesome weekend! From the surprise birthday treats for my sister to church on Sunday, just an overall nice and refreshing weekend; visited a local winery shared some exciting news, and spent time with my nieces.

Schedules can’t always work out, but hopefully the time between visits will get shorter and the stays become longer. Are there any of you ladies in blended families? Do you guys face any challenges or what were your initial hurdles to get through? I would love to hear your stories 😀

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

I Choose to Forgive

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Hello ladies! Lately I’ve been learning how to put on my “big girl panties” and do those things which God requires of me. One of those things being to choose to forgive! No sin (mistake) is more or less worthy of forgiveness than another. Forgiveness is allowing yourself permission to heal and to be happy regardless of the darkness you’re facing. In order to forgive you have to view things from a different perspective, meaning instead thinking “this is just too painful or hard to let go” you have to tell yourself “well because this is so painful and hard, I must let it go.” When you forgive you take on a new role, the switch is flipped from victim to survivor. You are now a survivor of your darkness. When you begin to walk through your life as a survivor you instantly are relieved of the hurt, pain, and bitterness. It’s all a choice, you can either choose to be happy or choose to be unhappy. Forgiveness involves giving up on the hopes of having a better past. The past is now gone. You have to give up on the “shoulds” because the “should” is like dreaming upon a fantasy and not living and accepting the reality. You can’t keep thinking of how things “ought to be” because that’s not reality. You have to love a person as who they are- flaws and all, not as you wish they were. I recently read a statement, that in the process of forgiveness, every true attempt in forgiving strengthens you. For every small effort you make gives you huge rewards. And that the miracle of forgiveness is that there comes a moment when you will no longer remember what you thought you could never forget. The Bible reminds us in Matthew 6:14-15, For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men of their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him [drop the issue, let it go], so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you, your transgressions and wrongdoings [against Him and others].- Mark 11:25 (AMP)

So in order for you to be right with the Father it is necessary to forgive the sins of others. Ladies, whatever you may be going through or have faced in life- betrayal, neglect, abuse, infidelity, etc. you can still choose to FORGIVE. There’s no hurt nor pain that God can’t heal. He wants you to seek forgiveness so that He can forgive you. It’s an amazing feeling knowing that we have the option of forgiveness because some of the things we’ve faced in life is just too unbearable for us to continue to carry around. God doesn’t want us to carry those burdens. Psalm 55:22 says, Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. So today, will you choose to forgive?

Have a wonderful day (walking in forgiveness)!

sig TW

“We’re Two-ing it”

 

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Welp, my little guy is now TWO (let’s have a moment of silence for this mommy balling for the baby that isn’t a baby anymore) and to make it more official now we’ve finally officially kicked the paci to the curb. Well it was more like daddy lost it and I had finished a 12 hour shift and wasn’t going out to buy another one. After looking throughout the house in all the, now empty, secret stashes….oh come on, those of you that had pacifier babies know you hide them everywhere for emergency purposes. Anyway, after a tough night I thought, well we made it through, let’s try another and before we knew it he stopped asking for the “pa-hee”. In fact I told him we gave it to the crying babies and somehow he was okay with that after a few “falling out” moments.  We have entered the biting, the scratching, the wanting anything sissy has phase.  I know I have a two year old, but at times I swear his appetite is that of a teenager. Now moving on to the other “thing” drum roll please……………POTTY TRAINING. About a month before he turned two I noticed he was interested in the Potty, wanting to sit on it and was pretty good about it if I got him to it first thing when he woke up and of course when he was successful we always make a big fuss about it. A few accidents here and there, mainly mommy trying to figure out how to sit a boy on the seat without ending up with a mess right in front. He occasionally attempts the whole standing up thing which tends to end in a mess or a near miss…..me just catching the toilet seat in the nick of time from slamming down on his you know what. Just recently he is going #2 in the pull-ups then runs to the bathroom to “dump” it in the toilet and somehow he feels accomplished……lol. Those who have potty trained little boys we need some help!!!!!!

 

sig LP

 

Accepting My Truth

The freshness of the New Year is still upon us and just about everyone is on their “New year, new me” kick. Most people are excited about a fresh start and leaving the stress, worries and problems of last year behind them. (Writer included) But let’s be honest for a second, problems of the year past did not magically disappear when the clock struck midnight. There were some things that followed us into the new year, as things that we are still learning to accept, cope and deal with. That’s exactly where I am today, learning to accept my truth…

Accepting My Truth

This is in no way easy for me to discuss and even as I type my heart is racing as its becoming even more real as I look at it in front of me. So what’s my truth? What’s that 1 thing that I can’t seem to shake from 2015…a miscarriage.

November 2015 my husband and I found out we were pregnant. It came as a surprise but we accepted it and was prepared to make the necessary adjustments to welcome the newest member of our family. Within a month’s time, 3 ultrasounds later, one showing a 6 week fetus at a gestational age of 9 weeks, a faint heart beat, to I’m sorry Mrs. Phillips there is no longer a pregnancy sac.

It felt like a nightmare that I was hoping I would soon awake from, sometimes it still does. Lord why now, why me? Why get my hopes up, why let me hear a heartbeat, to just take it all away? After getting thru those emotions and thinking that I was finally getting over it now I read different Facebook posts with exciting pregnancy announcements. Lord that was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be making my announcement around this time. Uggghhhh why can’t I shake this!!!! Lord what lesson are you trying to teach me this time? Why does this test have to be so hard?

Even through all of that, through all my hurt and heartache, through masking it all with a smile, I am comforted by the Comforter knowing that this too shall pass. Although I don’t understand it completely yet I know that my Father has my best interest at heart and was protecting me from further heartache later down the road. It just wasn’t the right time, I can hear my Father saying “Not yet daughter”. It’s up to me to accept that as my truth right now. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and it’s just as simple as that.

In closing today I want to encourage you even in the midst of my storm. You may not have all the answers now, you may be hurting and feeling like you can’t go another further but trust me sis you can. Whatever it is that may have followed you into the new year, I beckon you to keep pushing forward, take it one day at a time, and most importantly…

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. ~ Proverbs 3:5 AMP

Peace & Blessings,

 sig KT

Welcome 2016!!!!!

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Happy New Year ladies! I know it’s been a minute since I’ve last posted, but out with the old and in with the new!!! lol As last year comes to an end and a new year begins, 2015 was quite the year. A year full of emotions…good, bad, and indifferent, it was still a great year. Dealing with death is never easy, but I managed to make it through year one. From handling financial issues to the emotional roller coaster of the holidays, I’m ecstatic to say that God has kept me and saw me through it all. He has placed such wonderful and encouraging people in my life that I couldn’t have picked a better bunch and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. There was new life born (not by me lol…but I love the babies!) in 2015 and plenty of cookies and cake pops made!

I’m excited to see what 2016 holds…prayerfully becoming an “official” business owner is my goal. What’s on your list of accomplishments to tackle this year?

 

sig EF