Excitement

Happy Friday Girlfriends!

I must say Friday truly is my favorite day of the week!! I just wanted to say hello and explain that my post for this week will be shared via a guest post from the blog Sincerely Kasey Kay. I was honored that Kasey thought of me to share with her audience while she’s away on vacation (I could sure use one of those). I wasn’t too sure of what to talk about but she told me just to be myself just as I am with my girlfriends, and that’s exactly what I did! You may view my post here.

Cheers to a fantastic weekend!!

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Angel of Mine

Time of death 2:15pm….April 26, 2014 will be a day that I will never forget. I’m going to be honest; this will probably be the most difficult post to write thus far. April 26, 2014 at 2:15pm my world changed forever. This was the date and time that my Grandmother transitioned from labor to rest…

Growing up, and even as an adult, it was always the highlight of my weekend when my mom told my sister and me that we were going to travel to see Grandma. We knew that when we got there she would greet us with her loving embrace, a smile, a “Hello Plum” (her nickname for her grand-daughters ) and would send us on our way at the end of the visit with a dollar or two to put in our pocket (she even did this to us as adults lol).  We would spend the afternoon engulfed in laughter as she told us different things going on in her world, or what happened on the latest episode of the Young and the Restless. It was always a good time when we would go to visit, or even better when she would come here to stay with Mama for a few weeks. I guess I always thought that she would be around forever, or at least I’d hope that she would.

All of that changed April 15, 2014 when I received a call from my cousin at work letting me know that Grandma had been rushed to the hospital. Immediately my heart dropped and anxiety started to kick in as I didn’t know what was about to happen next. Thoughts of no God not yet, please spare her life…we need her here…among other things ran through my mind. That was the longest 45 minute drive to get to the hospital where they had admitted her. Once my mom, sister and I arrived, after a few hours it seemed that she was going to be okay and they were just going to keep her for observation. On the drive back home we received another call that she was being airlifted to Duke as a blood vessel had burst on her brain and they needed to do surgery immediately. Now my Grandma has always been a fighter. She endured a lot in her 87 years of life, and I prayed that this time would be no different. She made it through the surgery without any complications but need to remain in ICU for observation. It wasn’t until that next morning that my mother informed me that she had a stroke overnight and had been placed in a medically induced coma, where she remained for the next week. Words really cannot describe all that my family went thru that week. It was so hard walking in her room, holding her hand, talking to her while watching a machine breath for her. Nothing was as hard as having to say the final goodbye….

After being on the ventilator for a week my family made the decision to remove her from the machine and allow the Lord’s will to be done. This particular Saturday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. There were minimal clouds, a nice breeze, just an all-around peaceful day. We arrived at the hospital that morning for the doctors to remove the tube. It was nothing but the Lord that allowed Grandma to regain consciousness after they removed the tube so that she could see and talk to her family one last time. The final 2 hours of her life she was filled with and surrounded by love of her 6 children, 11 grandchildren and 1 of her great grands. We each were able to go in to talk to her, let her know that we loved her and was able to give her one last kiss. I will never forget the way she looked up at me and was able to mouth the word “beautiful” as one tear fell from her eye. I will hold that moment deep in my heart for the rest of my life. Her face was filled with so much joy when I brought Sweet Pea in the room and placed her hand in Grandma’s hand…one last time…

I was not in the room when she took her last breath, but once I made it inside the room it was filled with my entire family. We all sat in silence, some weeping as the matriarch of our family had completed her journey here on earth and had transitioned to her Heavenly home. I’ve never experienced death in this manner before, especially not with someone so close to my heart. Hearing the doctor announce her time of death seemed unreal and I knew that at any moment someone was going to pinch me and wake me up from this bad dream.

Here we are a year later and I still feel like this is just a bad dream that I can’t wake up from. I have not been able to go to her gravesite since I watched them lower her casket into the vault. I just don’t know when I will be ready. I guess a part of me still doesn’t want to face the reality that she’s gone. If only I was able to hear her voice again, see her smile again, hold her hand, give her a great big hug and promise that I would see her again soon. Some say that it will get better with time, but I haven’t been able to prove this theory to be true yet. This wound is still very fresh in my heart and sometimes it’s just easier to not think about.

So as I gaze out of my office window, looking into the sky I know that somewhere up there my angel is gazing back at me smiling and saying “Tesha I’m okay.” Just as I told you that day, April 26, 2014, as that tear fell from your eye, and today as tears fall from mine…”I love you and I’m going to make you proud.”

Rest in Paradise Grandma. I love you and miss you so much.

Your Plum

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How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

Catch up here…After our first meeting and making the decision to date exclusively, that’s what we did. We talked on the phone, learning about each other’s quirks and small things like that. With it being a long distant relationship, we didn’t want it to necessarily feel that way. As much as finances would allow, we wanted to see each other every two weeks (well that didn’t work out as we had planned lol). Nonetheless, we still managed to see each other at least once a month. I enjoyed my trips up because that meant I get to fly into NYC and do some exploring lol. We visited the Bronx Zoo, some good eats, and sightseeing. Went for a visit to meet some of his father side of the family at his brother’s wedding and we stayed in a nice hotel called Z NYC Hotel. We’ve had a trip or two to the beach because that’s one of my faves. Nothing like a good relaxing day at the beach feeling the ocean breeze…just taking in what God created!

Some of our more open and ultimately important conversations (we had a lot of them lol not on purpose just happened) stemmed around religion and our beliefs, marriage, children, and what was important to us. We wanted to do this “right”. We were serious about the relationship and wanting it to be right, not just right to us, but right for us according to God’s plan. We didn’t force anything; we just let it all happen. In our opinion and what we knew, our “right” way was building a better relationship with God together as a couple, abstinence before marriage, having a good solid communication foundation, putting all of our “secrets” or “not so good” parts of us out on the table, open and honest about fears, financial situations, etc.

When you get serious about a relationship, what’s important to you? Where do you stand on commitment, communication, religion, finances, etc.? Continue reading…

Extrinsic or Intrinsic

Why do I do the things I do? Why do you do the things you do?

Does your motivation arise from outside of you or inside of you?

Let’s discuss what extrinsic and intrinsic motivation means. Extrinsic: you’re driven to perform or engage in activity just to receive a reward or avoid punishment. Intrinsic: you’re driven to perform or engage just because it is personally rewarding.

Now with that being said, I’m definitely INTRINSIC in my doing/giving majority of the time. I mean there are some times I’m certainly more pushed by extrinsic such as studying for a test because I don’t want to fail, or reviewing notary laws before notarizing documents to be sure it’s acceptable by law. My “reward” (high) comes from the JOY I see in the recipients. That’s why I’m addicted to planning… it’s my drug of choice! There’s nothing more rewarding than the excitement my heart feels receiving “thank you” comments from people for simply hanging decorations or designing an invitation or passing out favors or even refilling an empty drink glass. There are just some things I feel I’m called to do that don’t require me to put a price tag on it, if you know what I mean. I pray that God continues to grant me the desire to plan. I pray that my creative ability has only begun touch the surface of what its full potential will be. This is one thing I hope my family never needs to put me on Intervention for LOL.

Have you figured out which motivation type best describes you? When you’re thinking about this, also remember to evaluate your role(s) in your church. Be sure that you’re not serving from an extrinsic motivation standpoint of what God will do for you because you’re serving. Serve at a capacity that makes you smile on the inside, regardless if no one ever recognizes you for it.

Until next time ladies, have a wonderfully blessed weekend!

sig TW

Sweet Pea Turns 3

Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday the doctor was telling me to calm down and push LOL! Sweet Pea will be 3 years old tomorrow!!! (Holding back tears)

A few posts back I promised that I would tell you all about my experience coming into motherhood. You are probably wondering what the big deal is, women have babies every day. Yes that is very true; however my experience was a little different. I was considered a high risk pregnancy as I have the condition known as hypertension, or high blood pressure. I was very cautious when we found out that we were pregnant as I did not want to suffer with any complications. This was the case up until my 33 week doctor’s appointment. On this particular day my blood pressure was extremely high and almost at stroke level. I remember my doctor calmly looking at me and telling me not to go back to work but to drive straight to patient registration at the hospital and the doctor on rotation would meet me there. I will never forget this day and the fear that overcame my body immediately. That was the longest walk to my car and trip across town that I’ve ever experienced. I called my husband screaming and crying, barely able to tell him what had happened and where I was headed. I followed that with a call to my mother and sister in the same manner which sent everyone rushing to the hospital.

It’s amazing to me how God places angels right where you need them. When I walked into the registration area there stood a member of my church waiting to sit with me until my husband arrived (I love my church family, will post about them at a later date too lol). After coming off the elevator, headed to labor and delivery for observation, there stood my aunt who was a nurse at the hospital. This is just how the next week went as I was placed on hospitalized bed rest. There was someone by my bedside to keep me calm and pray that everything was going to be alright. So at the end of the week, my blood pressure had regulated and I was expecting the doctors to tell me that I was headed back home and they would see me in 6 weeks for delivery. Not so. My doctor informed me that I had a slight case of preeclampsia and they were going to induce my labor at the end of the weekend. **Insert panic, anxiety, and fear** My heart dropped. What will happen to my baby? The nursery isn’t ready. Her car seat and crib are still on layaway. All of these thoughts as well as many others went thru my mind as you can imagine.

So the big day came where they started the induction process. I was going to meet my baby girl the next day. I gave it over to the Lord and tried to get my mind ready for the labor and delivery process. I informed the nurse to have the epidural ready as I did not want to experience much pain. Well to my surprise that didn’t go the way I planned either. After 2 failed epidurals and failed narcotics to knock out the pain, I was told that I was a rare case where the medicine does not work annnnnnndddd you guessed it, I would have to deliver Sweet Pea naturally! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This made me panic even more. Now I don’t remember the pain, just that there was a lot of unbearable pain and l laid in active labor for 14 hours without saying more than can I have more ice chips lol. The Lord was gracious enough to make it so I only had to push twice before Sweet Pea entered this world mean mugging the doctors and nurses LOL!

And just that quick I was a mother, my life was no longer centered around me. This little life was my responsibility to raise, nurture and take care of for the rest of her life. Since she was 6 weeks early, Sweet Pea weighed in at 4lbs 8ounces and 19 inches long. I was only able to kiss her on the forehead before they whisked her off to the NICU, where she stayed for the next 2 weeks. Now I thought that drive to the hospital was long, those 2 weeks were even longer. I do not wish this on my worst enemy! That was the most emotionally taxing 2 weeks of my life! The uncertainty of knowing when she was coming home, if she was going to have any developmental delays, it was just hard…but God once again. Sweet Pea shocked the doctors with her progression, she was only on breathing tubes for the first 8 hours of her life and when I was able to lay my eyes on her that next morning she was the perfect angel that I had asked God for.

So here we are today, 3 years later. She has not suffered any developmental delays and is progressing as a normal toddler should, to God be the Glory!! She keeps Mommy on her toes as she is very energetic and full of life! She never ceases to amaze me as everyday she does something new that still gives me that wow factor of “I’m her mom”. Although I’m a little sad that she’s growing up and starting pre-school soon (update coming in a few weeks), I am so thankful that God chose me to be her mother and yes that I was chosen to go through that experience. I may not understand why I had to endure it but hope that I am able to help someone else that may go thru the same situation.

Well I’m off to celebrate with Sweet Pea. Tomorrow is all about her! Hubby and I both took off from work so that we could dedicate the entire day to celebrate our blessed angel!

Happy 3rd Birthday Sweet Pea!!!!  Mommy loves you!!!!

sig KT

“The First Step Is To Get Fed Up”

Happy Tuesday! I had a very nice weekend. After sharing an article about someone’s weight loss journey and having a conversation with the girls about our personal journeys, keeping each other encouraged, how to support each others journey, self-image and a few other topics it all made me think. I believe at some point in our lives, we’ve questioned our outward appearance and that’s what I was thinking about after the conversation. A very good question came up about when we reach our target or goal (whatever that may be), would we still be happy/satisfied or would we still want more???? So to backtrack for a second, the article talked about how she got started, things she did, and during her journey/transformation how people around her treated her and changed. To me, the thing that stood out the most was what it took for her to start…“The First Step Is To Get Fed Up”. With pondering on that question, I started searching for ways to become active without being bored. So this weekend, I had the opportunity to do an extremely fun (yet challenging) class. If you have one in your area, I recommend doing a GravityFit class. I took it at a place called DefyGravity. AWESOME!!!!!! It’s a low-impact high intensity class that will have you sweating, breathing hard and feeling the burn lol. It’s definitely on my list to incorporate as a routine when the traditional methods gets boring. Read more about DefyGravity here  and if you’d like to read the weight loss story click here. So I pose the question to you…Are you fed up yet?????? Until next time…

 

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Progress Report

Happy Friday ladies! And as promised I’m here with my 1 month progress report. My doctor’s appointment was on this past Monday and I was down 7lbs! My doctor was very pleased and told me to keep up the good work. Needless to say though, I kind of had mixed feelings… I mean I was happy to have lost weight but I also knew that I could have done better than 7lbs. Honestly, yes I was taking the meds and not eating before 12p but there were days that I ate past 8p, days I didn’t log anything, foods I knew better than to be eating, and I did absolutely no exercise beyond typical daily walking. But I can say, this has lit a burning desire for me to want to do better and to make the extra effort.

To help with logging I’ve implemented the new rule of saying my blessing and logging my food and then eating it. The reward of blessing and logging my meals first is to be able to actually eat them afterwards. I must say this has really been working. I used to believe I would go back and log my food later and it would never happen, so this new rule has been the answer to the problem.

Let’s talk water intake… so since I don’t eat until 12p, I use my morning hours to drink, drink, drink. My goal is to drink at least 64oz of water before 12p. I use a 64oz (half gallon) water bottle. My ultimate goal is to drink a gallon a day but that’s still work in progress =)

 

water bottle 4.10.15

So for my exercise boost I knew I needed something I could physically monitor my progress, so I got a fitbit charge. I’m loving how it syncs to my phone and My Fitness Pal app. So this is my plan of attack for handling the exercise portion of my journey. I need all the motivation I can get so if you’re on either of these, let’s be friends! mfp: dewrema5832

 fitbit 4.10.15 mfp 4.10.15

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope this has been encouraging to someone. We must take control of our health ladies and love & take care of ourselves just as much as we love & take care of others in our lives.

Have a wonderful weekend!

sig TW

 

 

Lucky Number 32

This past Saturday I was blessed to see 32 years of life. Wow….32….sounds kinda weird when I say it out loud (or as I type it lol). Nonetheless I am forever grateful to live to see another year of life because it definitely could have been another way!

I’ve always been big on birthday celebrations. As a single woman I would always plan something fun or “big” for my girlfriends and I to get into for my birthday. Whether it was a night out on the town or a Spring Dress birthday luncheon, I always made sure to plan something. Now that I’m a wife and a mother, things go a little bit differently in a sense. Yes it is still a big deal to me, but now it is in the hands of my husband to plan the logistics of my celebration.

Girlfriends, Hubby truly outdid himself this weekend! This was one of the best birthday weekends I’ve ever had! I started celebrating a little early with a fresh blowout and color on Thursday afternoon. I had to get cute for whatever Hubby had planned for me! He kicked off the actual weekend with a night out on the town Friday. We went to this nice little jazz spot in downtown Durham. The food was great, the atmosphere was intimate and the live music was phenomenal! I have to admit that I was feeling myself in my outfit that evening and I think Hubby enjoyed it too. J My actual birthday was a gorgeous day. We didn’t do anything extravagant. We took Sweet Pea to the Easter Jam at church and relaxed at home for the remainder of the day. I love these kinds of days where I’m able to spend uninterrupted time with my family; I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sunday morning we went to Resurrection Sunday Celebration service and enjoyed some of my Mama’s great cooking (and baking) afterwards. Again I want to say that this weekend was just what I needed to bring in a new year of life.

So I guess you are wondering what I received for my birthday gift. I actually wasn’t expecting anything big since I went to get my hair and nails done, but my amazing husband surprised me again. After getting missing from the house for about 2 hours, he walked in a huge gift wrapped box. Sweet Pea and I were both filled with excitement to see what was in the box. And when I opened it I screamed with joy as it is was something I’ve wanted for a very, very long time, but didn’t quite fit our budget. Now let me explain something to you I’m all about a fierce bag, the bigger the better. That’s exactly what I got…a hot pink Michael Kors bag was in the box!!!! I immediately emptied my current purse and switched to my bag. I’m not bragging in the least bit, I’m just grateful for delayed gratification and waiting for those things that I desire to come to me in the right timing. I could see all over Hubby’s face that he was proud that he was able to bless me with this gift and that his mission was accomplished for making this an outstanding birthday weekend.

So now I’m off to make this the greatest year of my life thus far. I’m not sure what my Father in Heaven has in store for me in this new year, but I pray that I remain within His perfect will so that I am able to be blessed with that which He has for me.

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!

birthday 4.8.15

sig KT