Tag: the beginning

How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014…Final Chapter

Catch up here…Through the next few months and a few sessions, I think that we were making some progress. The Friday before our original wedding date in May, we get the worst news ever…Robert has cancer…stage 4 cancer. A little background for a minute…earlier in the year, Robert started feeling funny and having stomach pains. After about a week of me pushing him to go get it checked out, he finally went. The doctors chalked it up as GERD and gave him a few prescriptions and sent him on his way. The meds made his symptoms worse and another month or so he went back. After getting an upper endoscopy done, there was still nothing. Not really having much relief and a new symptom on deck, he went back again a few weeks later. His primary ran some tests and did more blood work. That’s when we got the news. After the gut wrenching blow of news, we found ourselves in the hospital with our first issue…a blood clot. Outside of a few “love handles” Robert was in good health; now we find ourselves looking for answers.

Hospitalized for over a week, he endured more tests and scans to pinpoint the exact form of cancer even though they had a preliminary diagnosis. Hearing cancer, one of our top concerns was planning our future and what that meant. We decided to preserve our family before radiation and chemotherapy was started. Our decisions from here on out were the hardest one’s ever made. With too many details to share, we started radiation, gone through a second surgical biopsy procedure (this one from his kidney), and a round of chemo all by August. With a true diagnosis on deck, we took another blow; a rare form of kidney cancer that had little to no research and knowing life expectancy averaged 15-18 weeks from diagnosis.

Through it all, we still worked on our communication and decided to get married. The day was perfect! A nice cool Connecticut Saturday morning, nothing but close family and friends, we had our moment. Outside under the trees near the lake, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. It was an off week for chemo treatments and a good day for Robert so it was a great day for me. I was happy that in that moment on September 20th he was happy again and not worried or scared.

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Reality struck us and a week later he was once again hospitalized. Not knowing it at the time, this would be his last stay. He was admitted because of breathing issues stemming from fluid on his lungs. We took each day in strides in hopes of going home with some few extra pieces of equipment. We celebrated two months’ worth of anniversaries and spent Thanksgiving there. After two trips to ICU and intubation, he said he was ready. He was no longer scared, had no more worries, and was secure in his faith. He said his earthly goodbyes and on December 6, 2014 transitioned. A day to remember; only one year earlier I said yes to forever!

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How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

Catch up here…Such an amazing night and weekend I was sad to see him off to the airport. Our time spent with each other is important since it’s only a few days a month, but we’re making it do what it do! Can we say WEDDING PLANNING TIME!!!!! So exciting to actually be planning my own, I mean I’ve been involved with plenty from planning, decorating and setting up, to a bridesmaid. Not wanting to leave my boo out and wanting him to be involved on some things we started going over thoughts and ideas of what type of experience we wanted to have. Of course, I wanted to be different and unique and of course outside, so we ended up agreeing on our venue being the Museum of Life and Science in their butterfly garden. Can we say gorgeous! To road to May 25, 2014 was off to a great start.

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It was a great feeling in the planning process from viewing the venue and picking out our specific location to selecting our food…which was a food truck! How can you not have an outdoor wedding as unique as a museum and butterfly garden and not having unique food?!?!?!?! And to top it all off, in addition to a traditional desserts, we’re having a shaved ice truck! Yummy!!! A nice intimate setting with a touch of fun, how could we pass it up? Along the way, I found the perfect dress (or at least the look and style that I wanted but not the price tag lol). So me and one of the girlfriends were on a mission to find a similar dress and style but cheaper and came across a close match for a fraction of the cost. Now the catch was it’s coming from China! We all know how shaky some of these websites can be, so before ordering it, we prayed on that thing hard that it would arrive in a timely manner and compare to the picture that’s posted online. Prayers were answered because the dress arrived fairly quickly (maybe 4 weeks) AND it was EXACTLY the same as in the picture posted online. STOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

With all the excitement in wedding planning, reality still exist and during that time our reality was serious communication issues. With limited face to face time, conversations were being misinterpreted and we both were frustrated with our poor communication in an otherwise healthy relationship. For me, this is a deal breaker. It got to the point where I wasn’t comfortable starting a marriage on a rocky foundation. So I did what I felt was right in my heart which was to cancel/postpone the wedding. Did some disapprove, yes. Were some supportive, yes. At that time, what mattered was that Robert and I have the best start on this journey as possible because I know that there will not always be good days and we needed to know how to navigate that if/when it arise. So we navigated our way through pre-marital and relationship counseling. Final chapter… coming soon!

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Our Forever Love

“I now pronounce you husband and wife” *Deep Breath* *First Kiss as One Flesh* *Sigh of Relief* *WE MADE IT, FINALLY*Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t mind me I’m just reflecting back on thoughts of my wedding day. You see Hubby and I will celebrate 4 years of marital bliss tomorrow!!! Wooooooooooo hoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I am super excited to hit yet another milestone in our journey as husband and wife. I do not take any year we have spent becoming one for granted because honestly there were moments when I didn’t think we would make it to 4 years, shoot I didn’t think we would have made it to one year of marriage, just being real. Sure we have all seen the fairy tale love stories in movies, TV sitcoms and plays, but let’s be real; every day in reality of marriage is not all glitter and glam. There are days when I sit and think “is this really what I waited all my life for?” LOL! I mean really no one can get under my skin like that man!!! Even in those weak moments of doubt, I will fight anyone that speaks negatively or down about my man. (BUT SERIOUSLY!!!) No our journey has not been easy, there were moments when we were both ready to walk out the door, but looking back I don’t think I would trade it for the world. All the tests and trials that we’ve been through have only made us stronger and allowed us to love and appreciate each other more. The theme for our wedding was “A Forever Love” and I’d like to think we have made that theme of our marriage in totality. I took my vows seriously when I declared before God “to death do us part”. Divorce wasn’t an option then and it’s not an option now. Regardless of what trials are ahead of us, we have to remember that we made it through in the past and with the help of our Lord and Savior we will make it thru again.

So today I want to take a moment to salute the man that prayed for so many years ago and is blessed to now call my husband. I thank you for all that you’ve given to make me happy. I thank you for how you have put yourself on the backburner, and put your family first on many occasions. Thank you for all of the many sacrifices you made, for swallowing your pride and doing what you had to do to make sure that your family has been taken care of.  None of it goes unnoticed. I even thank you for working thru the hard moments when my actions or words were too harsh. Thank you for loving me past my hurts, my insecurities, for telling me that I’m beautiful and that you are blessed to have me. Thank you for doubling back that day in the mall almost 7 years ago to, as you say, “just make me smile”. Thank you for continuing to make me smile even today as I write this post.

I love you baby and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you! Happy Anniversary my love!!! Okay I’m done reflecting; now it’s time for some celebrating….

“However, let each man of you (without exception) love his wife as (being in a sense) his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband (that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly).” Ephesians 5:33 AMP

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How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

Catch up here…With the holidays done, it was back to normal life with one minor adjustment…WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep you read it right. So in the mix of the holidays lies my birthday. Yes I don’t really do much for my birthday, but since it was the BIG 3-0, I wanted to do a really nice sit down dinner at a fancy restaurant. So I started planning and inviting all my friends and their hubby’s. I got together this nice evite and picked out a fancy place and thought I was doing something lol…to my surprise (and it truly was because I know EVERYTHING!!!) there was something else in the mix brewing.

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Since in previous conversations I told Robert that I wanted to do something big for my birthday, but I really felt comfy doing something simple something small lol (I mean a girl can dream right lol). Needless to say, he teamed up with #TEAMDOCKERY and it was a wrap! Now I have been to their house, watched their kids while they were on a weekend getaway, spent Thanksgiving there and was totally clueless. I mean I usually know when stuff is going down. I give mad props to everyone for keeping this secret! I would say that the toughest part of their entire shindig was getting me there and they had the right person tasked with that…MY SISTER. So the story behind that was we were planning on working out, so I gets changed and waiting for my sister…and waiting…still waiting…finally I’m like you taking too long I’m not going. Then my mom says she has a headache and in pain can we go get her something from the store […now this should have been clue #1 that something fishy was going on because I’m pretty sure we have everything under the sun in our “medicine” cabinet, but I didn’t check she hurting go get something no if ands or buts…]. So then me and my sister spends 20 minutes in Harris Teeter and I’m ready to go because my momma hurting…then she forgets something and we circle the store. √ed that off the list…now to the line, but we had another detour; so about another 20 minutes pass and I’m done at this point. We finally leaves and then she wants to “go check out the clubhouse for the baby 1st birthday”…who does that at 8-9pm?!?!? After going back and forth for about 5 mins, I pull up there and told her I’m not going because it looks like someone having a Christmas party (I mean it is December). After another 5 minutes of arguing lol I went up towards the door and as I get to it and my sister opens it (I’m looking at her sideways lol) all I see is my mom and Robert!!!!!!!!! Oh I busted out in tears! I’m shocked because I have no clue why he’s here (I just saw him less than 2 weeks before for Thanksgiving) and why is he all dressed up. So after he comes outside to get me to come in (yea he had to come and get me lol) I see all of my luvs…mom, the baby, brother, all my besties, my aunt and a few cousins!!!! I was seriously in awe that this was happening…and did I mention that I have on gym clothes and everyone is all jazzy lol.

So after I speak to everyone I was whisked away and got changed (YES!!!!! They had hooked a sista up). Back to the party I go and I walk into “Scandal” affair. YAY! I’m so excited because that’s my show and I’m the leading lady 🙂 . I mean all of the characters where there even Pap Pope even down to the transitioning sound (sounds like a camera shutter lol) After it’s all said and solved P-A-R-T-T-A-A-Y-Y-Y T-I-M-E. Skrrreeek….things got quiet and people looking, then I see Robert with the microphone. It’s kinda hard to me to focus on what he’s saying because I’m trying to figure out what’s really going on….then he’s on ONE KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I busted out crying again lmbo. I was such a crier that night. And I finally said YES! Yea yea yea…it took me a minute or two to get it together and say yes lol. December 6, 2013. Continue reading…

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How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

Catch up here…After making that commitment to each other and to God, we started on our journey. Everything from continuing to learn each other, meeting family/important people to us, to figuring out religiously what we needed to do to better us in Christ. We took on the summer visiting each other and family. I met a few of his siblings at his brother’s wedding in New York, as well as a lot of other family members from his father’s side. It was a good occasion. It was nice to meet family with him because for many, this was his first time meeting them as well.

Because I’m very close with my family and family is important to me, we planned during one of his visits to NC that we would spend a day with my family. He ended up meeting my mother, sister, brother, and niece. Prior to coming, my mom asked what was some of his favorite foods or what he wanted to eat. Let’s just say he got everything he asked for lol. we all talked and laughed. They had the chance to interact with him and vice versa. A very good visit I must say….a single mom can be a hand full to say the least lol. After that visit, we planned a weekend trip to Maryland (since it was half way for both) to meet my other half…dad and step-mom.  After I introduced everyone and chatted for a bit, they started talking sports…my time to leave lol!! I eventually left them downstairs and hung out with the girls (mom, sisters, and nieces). After some talking and laughing, I went back downstairs to see what was going on and they were all secretive lol. Because I’m into knowing everything lol, they wouldn’t say anything looking all suspect lol; but I guess that’s a good thing. Meaning they were “bonding” so I was happy. We know no one meets pops unless we serious. Not saying I wasn’t serious with anyone else, they just didn’t all make that trip except one other lol. But I digress lol. Nevertheless, that visit went well also.

So I’ve heard plenty about his mom, sister and brother (I’ve met 2 out of 3 before) seeing as my best friend married into their family. I heard all the funny family stories, some embarrassing moments, and about everyone’s personalities. So in talks about meeting family and how we were going to spend holidays, we said that we’d do Thanksgiving with his side and Christmas with my side. This particular year, Thanksgiving was in Delaware. That means all of the major people in his family was going to be there minus his brother. So I was meeting mom for the first time, sister (we met before but I guess it’s different since I wasn’t dating her brother before lol), and grandmother. It was an interesting yet good holiday. Everyone was nice; we all laughed, watched movies, ate and ate some more lol. There weren’t any catastrophes or fallouts…just a good time all around. All of the uncle/nephews were all boo’ed up lol. I thought that was cute seeing all of us chillin’ in the basement like we were “grown” hahaha!!!!

Since Robert met my immediate family before, Christmas was a breeze. It was just us, the immediate fam and two of my aunts. Robert was spoiled because my mom cooked everything that he asked for lol and put me to the side! But it was nice to see him interact with everyone and jump into the “uncle” roll with my niece in putting together her toys.

Nevertheless, the adventure of meeting each other’s family was good. When you’re involved to the point when you meet the important people in each other’s life, how would you like to be introduced…a more personal setting? Big family gathering or social event? Continue reading

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How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

Catch up here…So after the first few messages and some phone conversations, we decided to meet in person. Being the gentleman, he came to see me in North Carolina. We had a planned but not really planned out weekend (or at least Saturday). We like to call it our marathon of dates lol. We always joked about how we had 3 dates in one day. We did breakfast at IHOP, walked downtown to an art gallery, bowling, and later dinner. Things went pretty well, I beat him in a few games of bowling (I’m not that great and neither was he lol). The weekend went by and he went back home. I had a really good time and not too many quiet moments. We really started talking on the phone every day for hours and texting all throughout the day. Getting to know each other, having those goofy moments, finding out that you share things in common…things like that. Because we both were open and honest people, we talked about it all. We decided about a week or two after our first face-to-face meeting to date exclusively to see where it would go. Would you have thought that after the initial text message?!?!?!? Continue reading…

 

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How it all started…The Journey Leading up to 12/6/2014

It all started in mid-January talking with one of my best friends about “girl stuff” lol and she mentioned this guy named Robert. She went on and on about how nice he was, how we had a lot of things in common, and how some of his past options were bad choices. So I said that it would be ok for her to give out my number. A few weeks went by and she asked if I heard from him yet and I hadn’t. She didn’t know what was taking him so long to reply…lol I told her no big deal. Then on March 1, 2013 hanging with my sister and her newborn, I received this text that took me a few hours to reply to lol. I just didn’t know what to say!

Robert: Hello Erin, I apologize for taking so long to reach out. Believe that my reason for pause is not associated to my level of attraction to be honest I sneaked a peek 🙂 of your Facebook account and your beautiful…I understand that this isn’t an arrangement but I find that sometimes things just happen giving the opportunity and I guess I was just concerned on the negative potential. Well I’m done with my mini panic attack at times I get carried away, I have quite the imagination. Hopefully we can get to know each other and become friends over time and go from there.
Me: Good morning…I hope your day is going well so far. I’m glad to hear from you and it’s ok I can understand your concern. No need for the mini attacks…I’m looking forward to getting to know you.

What would be your response???? Continue reading…

 

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